I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
