i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
