I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
