the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
