I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
