do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
