Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
