a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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