WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
