toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
