I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am one with the molecules
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
