return my video game
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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