.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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