he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
