You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
