I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
