i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
