it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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