none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
