Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
