You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
