What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
