What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
