Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
