i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I want is dick and wine.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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