so let's talk penis.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
