Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
