at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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