Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
