woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
