Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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