today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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