I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
