Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
