drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
