i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We are two peas in an std pod
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Two words: nipple clamps
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