Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
