Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
