By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
