he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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