i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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