its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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