how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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