I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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