My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
420 ftw
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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