just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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