Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
