Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Be still, my beating vagina.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
