Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
