I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
